Ussins

Yesterday morning his mother needed to leave for an hour for a school errand and I was left to listen to him howling in his crib for his morning nap as if Hell itself had descended on him. It struck me with guilt for my negligence of him in previous days. Of course the guilt made me wonder if his howling was in any way related to my negligence. When the crying went beyond the rationally tolerable (maybe past half an hour) and it was apparent he was not going to sleep on his own, I entered his room, told him I was sorry, picked him up, he calmed down, and I wiped his tears and proceeded shushing and rocking him. He looked out the bedroom door for his mother, but as I sang to him his lullaby (also too oft neglected beyond his first few months of life, though I use others), he relaxed more.

The guilt and holding him and wanting to comfort him moved me to pray just enough for him to hear [should I be confessing this to The Internet? - too late!], which relaxed him further, and soon and too my surprise he fell asleep on my shoulder, the first this had happened also for far too long (four months? six?) - or at least, I miss it, because our practice is to put him in his crib and let him cry himself to sleep, which is a practice my heart disagrees with.

I went to silent praying, and after standing for a long while rocking him in his sleep I moved him to my arms at my chest, and he stayed asleep. I sat in the rocking chair and rocked him and looked at him as I prayed. I found myself praying for more charity for this kid, and at the very moment I started this prayer, he laughed in his sleep and smiled for a short while, and then returned to ordinary sleep. My prayer was in his dream. It reminded me of Nephi’s dream, or vision:

And I looked and beheld the virgin again, bearing a child in her arms. And the angel said unto me: Behold the Lamb of God, yea, even the Son of the Eternal Father! Knowest thou the meaning of the tree which thy father saw? And I answered him, saying: Yea, it is the love of God, which sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men; wherefore, it is the most desirable above all things. And he spake unto me, saying: Yea, and the most joyous to the soul. -1 Nephi 11:20-23

It also reminds me of this:

Dream, dream, dream, of the joyous day to come
While guardian angels without number
Watch you as you sweetly slumber.. - Verse from a translation of the Austrian Christmas carol Still, Still, Still

As I went for my scriptures to find the verses above, though I knew generally where to look for this (Nephi’s books), the first page I opened to was the very verses. A bit of Mormon cultural mythology is that if you just open your scriptures to something it will be exactly the right verse for you..

Joseph Smith was born 200 years ago today.

Praise to the man who communed with Jehovah!
Jesus anointed that Prophet and Seer..
..
Hail to the Prophet, ascended to heaven!
Traitors and tyrants now fight him in vain.
Mingling with Gods, he can plan for his brethren;
Death cannot conquer the hero again.

Erm.. haven’t kept up on the lad in writing.

Some maybe almost month, or so, ago his mother presented him a Mother Goose book to begin reading to him, and he made an exultant sound and dance when he saw Mother Goose on the cover. Babies know. Stories for babies are primaeval.

In recent weeks (or so?) he was laughing at Tia’s oldest sister and stepmother, when they babysat - I envy not having witnessed, and wonder if my sister didn’t when I was the first to make her first baby (the first grandchild) laugh. .. that seems somehow like a very monumental accomplishment now that I think of it; except that I didn’t do anything, I only came to her crib, and she laughed and smiled at me. ..very much like my boy, now that I think on it.

I’ve since seen him laugh with his aunt, whom I dare say has a gift for invoking delight in babies and children (I think my wife has the same gift relating to her neices and nephews). He openly pealed and giggled, repeatedly, the two of them just looking at each other. It made me laugh hard watching, and he’s since done this for me occasionally when I make a dog bark, or at other random times, but it’s worn off.. I think I must need to just be inventive, because nothing has worked for a while. But he smiles at me, and his mother, all the time, which is wonderful.

Two sundays ago I named him under the authority of the Priesthood, which is an ordinance in the LDS church, and then blessed him under the direction of the Spirit. The words and ideas of the blessing came with great certainty. The whole of the blessing was to incline the baby to live a life that will lead him back to his Heavenly Father from whom he recently came, bless him with gifts of faith, hope, and charity for the course, and to return with a wife and all his family. That is God’s plan for each of us, and God’s Spirit has witnessed it to me. I wrote soon after of the timeless sensation in the blessing:

I felt a strong connection back to Heavenly Father in giving this (which I am very grateful for), to a place where time stands still, yet thoughts of the future proceed in such certainty as causing by the very thoughts the events to occur; as if traveling forward in time.

Last morning (I’m posting this past midnight), he awakened us by saying:

Mimba

Followed by -

Boo? Gweh?

Late tonight I woke him up (a breach of decency) because I felt bad coming home so late and not seeing him today. After I cuddled him a while (he was mildly bothered and sleepy but cuddly) he began complaining, and said

I wa ma ma!

Which sounded stunningly like “I want my mom”, if that isn’t what it was.

Months ago in the ward men’s general assembly they announced that the food drive went well, plenty of donations were recieved for a ward member in need, and that the blood drive went well. The Bishop’s comment: “You see how it goes brethren, first we want your food, then we want your money, then we want your blood.”

We laughed hard.

Churchy tender laff!

A few weeks ago the Priests were idly and somewhat loudly prattling during the men’s assembly: I overheard a Priest talking about a girl who was (I presume) the previous evening giving a play-by-play of simple popular music that was playing. He quoted her (my paraphrase) - “Okay this is where the drum solo is, coming up.. okay here it is..” - rediculously short drum riff - “..Okay that was it right there” - then later apparently she said “This is the part where you feel the love.”

This mildly disruptive talk continued into our singing the hymn: Love at Home. I thought this was opportune, I was standing near these Priests (who were also standing), and I approached the one who had gossiped about this girl; I interrupted his conversation with a dry declaration: “This is the part where you feel the love.” He got it immediately, and laughed hard. But far more importantly, he also shut up.

Churchy tender laff!

Two weeks ago I was supposed to give a spiritual thought in the assembly. I didn’t remember this obligation until it was minutes before I would have been called on. I fled in a panic and gathered my thoughts. When they called on me, this was it: “Brethren I didn’t prepare anything and fled out the door in a panic to gather my thoughts. What I came up with is simple and ironic. It’s the Boy Scout motto: Be Prepared.” - and I sat down. This produced hard laughter.

Churchy tender laff!