Ussins

Last night as I read a book to Mago for bed time he noticed a small smiley-face sticker I had put in the center of the face of my watch. I’d put that sticker there as a reminding device a week or so ago because it came as sudden inspiration to the question: how can I keep myself on track, on duty, and remember what I’m supposed to do? (I can be quite distracted, and even my very simple daily list gets neglected).

Mago: You have a smiley face on your watch.

Me: That’s to remind me to be nice to you, because when I’m nice to you, I’m really being nice to Heavenly Father, because he wants me to be nice to you.

Mago: And when it’s frowning, you’re mean.

Nem-nem started a few days ago to clearly say “Oomm-a, ma-ma, ma-ma, ma-ma, ma, ma-ma..”. And it refers to Tia. One evening Tia left Nem-nem in the crib to go to sleep, and left the room, but Nem-nem didn’t sleep, and pulled herself standing up beside the rail and called:

“Ma-ma, ma-ma, ma-ma, ma-ma, ma-ma..”

Reports Tia - I copy this from a web site for her siblings to keep in touch with Tia’s parents on a mission:

..the other day as [Mago] was giving me a hard time, I whined and crawled into his bed and complained,

“[Mago], I give up, I don’t want to be a mommy any more. I just want to be Tia and have friends, and go shopping, and do my own thing!”

And he said in a very sympathetic tone,

“Mommy, you can’t give up. You don’t have friends, you just have a boy and a girl!”

He helped me make biscuit dough and tasted it, and said “Ick, it tastes like grownup skin!”

A little bland and salty? And this is an apparent contrast with baby skin, which evidently does not have an unpleasant taste.

I didn’t want him to watch a video segment on insects because it was so gross I was afraid it would give him nightmares, and he said “Mom, put it on and don’t say ew!”

Tia’s sister Janae related having the same experience that same day:

…Just tonight I [said] i was about to give up being a mom.

“I have no more Mom energy…i think i’m just going to quit.”

[My boy] gave me a kiss on the cheek and said,

“Please keep trying…you have to be a mom …because you ARE a mom!”

He’s right; It’s a job you just can’t get out of. Hang in there, little Mommy… We’re all in it together!

Tia reports that last night getting Nem-nem ready for bed, while Nem-nem was fussing and hungry she cried her own nickname (Nem-nem) - I guess again in self-pity as she had done when on an earlier day she cried her own first name. I thought I’d reported that last here, but it was in an email, so I’ll back-post that (link). I wish I’d heard it - I was putting Mago to bed.

Nem-nem is crawling quite a bit now. And still smiling a lot. I play a game with her and Mago where I hold her facing away, and slowly rotate her toward him, saying “Nem-nem-nem-nem-nem-nem-nem-nem..” until she fully faces him, at which point I brightly exclaim “Hallo!” - which makes them both smile and giggle.

Mago has learned from me to tickle Nem-nem’s belly by digging his forehead into it, which makes her squeal and laugh.

I’m fascinated by how Nem-nem explores objects with her hands - the other day she was weaving a ribbon through her fingers and tugging at it from either hand, and tugging at my necklace - and the whole time she does this she watches other things, such as Mago running back and forth setting the table.

We are guilty of the error of parents who more take for granted (ignore) the marvels of life and growing that they first discharged on, well, their firstborn. I’ve read about second children who grow up to resent that there are virtually no early photographs or videos of them in family albums. I’m proud that we’re at least resisting that error (I may want to say travesty) to a degree, and writing some things from her down, and so far she has some photographs of herself from birth to her current age of -

I’m sorry, she’s almost three-fourths of a year old? And Mago is 3 years old in two months? It just isn’t right. Stages of Eden should crawl longer. Except for the days when Tia feels stuck at home with nothing to do but care for wild children who rob her of sleep at night and whose day time naps very seldom synchronize (to allow her a nap).

I plan to get photos of the kids back-posted here and will send links when I do (if you’re signed up for notices, that is). There are several recent videos of them playing with each other or me or Tia (and many other videos we’ve never posted), and I’d describe them but I’m planning tommorrow morning to work at least toward getting the most recent few ready to post

And now for something completely different..

The Lord Commanded Nephi to cut off Laban’s head
Nephi didn’t want to, ‘cuz Laban would be dead
Laman and Lemuel said go ahead and try
The sword was lifted high and blood began to fly

I will go, I will do the things the Lord commands
I know the Lord provides a way: He wants me to obey
I will go, I will do the things the Lord commands
I know the Lord provides a way: He wants me to obey

My siblings wrote this verse revision or addition to the song “Nephi’s Courage” from the LDS Children’s songbook when I was a kid. I particularly appreciate its emphatic goriness and stupid glibness. Yes, Laban would be dead, indeed. And Laman and Lemeul are urging Nephi to kill Laban. That isn’t in the scripture - they were very cowardly when it came to Laban (or anything) and weren’t with him then, but it works in a stupidly funny way, so beyond that I digress.

Among the variety of music I’m constantly collecting I’ve ripped some CDs we have of the LDS Children’s songbook rendered by a small orchestral and singing children ensemble. (They also have recordings without singing and I prefer it either way depending.) Recently I came accross this one, Nephi’s Courage, while working, and as the familiar music began I fully expected to hear children start singing the above verse. I had to shake myself from it. No, that’s not a real verse. They aren’t going to sing that. It still happens any time I play the song again.

Mago will appreciate the revelation of this verse (as he does the relation from the very scripture) when he’s old enough to memorize and sing music. He’ll sometimes bellow and babble along to music - this is fun with musical theatre - and he can match a pitch.

Yesterday Tia reported that, while listening to a kid’s tape (recorded by and featuring my brother-in-law Marvin) dramatizing principles etc. from the Book of Mormon, Mago asked her about Nephi and what the name of the bad guys was again. Laman and Lemuel, she repeated to him. Referring to a thick foam fencing sword he got for Christmas (which he had begged for some time before Christmas to have), he said:

“When they come to our house, I’m going to whack them with my sword!”

As Tia explained last night to Mago that Nephi didn’t kill Laman and Lemeul (and Mago raised the sad point that these mean men were Nephi’s brothers), but Nephi did kill Laban by cutting off his head (and Mago understood the reasons offered for all of this) , Mago then said of Laban, speaking as pretending (he knows these people aren’t around), he said -

“And I’ll whack off his head!”

I believe the Lord placed these stories at the front of the Book of Mormon because they make for the most dramatic and interesting family discussions (let alone entertaining).

On a recent morning Mago came into the bedroom where Tia and Nem-nem had just awakened for the morning, and Mago climbed into the bed to greet Nemmy. In chorus, at the very same time, Mago and Nemmy gave each other friendly greetings:

“Hiiiiiiiii.”

A week or so ago I picked up Nem-nem from the bed where, with Tia, she was asleep, to put Nem-nem in her crib. I cradled and rocked her in my arms while she slept, and lingered a long while - it is very rare that I get to hold her while she sleeps, because she is much harder to soothe than Mago was (and Tia has more of a gift for soothing Nemmy - I had more of a gift for soothing Mago). I looked at this little girl and thought of my family, these ties that are the Kingdom. I thought of my slacking in tending to my family - though I have improved a lot since Mago was a baby - and heartbroken for the wants of this little one I began praying for the charity to tend more to them. As soon as I had begun this prayer, she momentarily gave a great smile in her sleep. My prayer was in her dream, I knew it, and in an instant I was back to just a brief year ago holding Mago in his sleep, praying for charity, and in the moment I prayed for this he laughed, my prayer in his dream.

And he shall plant in the hearts of the children the promises made to the fathers, and the hearts of the children shall turn to their fathers. - D&C 2:2

Judgment Day. I am before the pleading bar of the Almighty to state my cause for entering the Kingdom. Jesus asks the countless throng of God’s children:

“Is there anyone who has ought against this man, or reason he should not enter my Kingdom?”

A man comes forward, youthful, bright, with a sparkle in his eye, holding a cane for what reason I don’t know for all his vigor, covered with so many stamped coin souvenirs from his travels. Approaching, he looks at me, barks “Get something to eat!” and winks. He steps back down with nothing more to say. Neither does my Savior have any more to say.

They set me down for the feast of entrance. There in the abundance are the grapes, even the grapes of the winepress of the wrath of Almighty God, restored to the vine, never to be trampled again.

And I eat.

This morning, sitting on the front porch after he asked if the sun was hiding behind the mountain and I answered him no and showed him where it was hiding behind a tree, he asked:

Mago: “Daddy?”
Me: “Yes.”
Mago: “Are we in the sun’s garden?”
Me: (I don’t know where he got this, or maybe he made it up, but I think it’s a great idea, so I expanded on it) “Yes, the whole world is the sun’s garden. You’re in the sun’s garden, and I am, and mommy is, and sister is, and our neighbors are, and our family is.”

(It’s the Son’s garden, too).

At a cousin’s house Mago was playing with a wooden toy snake - the fairly large kind with a lot of interconnecting spine pieces or hinges, which make it slither back and forth when you bend it up or down - and Nem-nem was on her back on the floor, wiggling and cooing. None of us watched exactly what Mago did, but he was near Nem-nem when she gave out a howl and cry of alarm, so Tia went over and comforted her. As we speculated what might have happened, referring to Mago as we spoke, he approached a couch where several talking about this were sitting, and removing the wooden snake’s head where he had put it in his mouth, exclaimed:

“But I like a snake in my mouth!”

(So why doesn’t she? It’s a perfectly fun thing to do - what’s wrong with it?)

After we had taken him to the Chuck-E-Cheeze kid’s restaurant one evening (replete with a singing animal robot band on stage), the next morning I asked Mago how his time at Chuck-E-Cheeze was, and what he did. In his answers, he talked about the “butcher” on the stage - holding up his hands in the way a drummer would, working the drums.. er.. knives.

(Tia later clarified to me that he has a baker toy he often mistakes for a butcher - and I learned his birthday cousin does the same thing sometimes - so he probably thought the robot that was baking a pizza was a “butcher”. If so, I still think my mistake of his mistake is a very funny image)

A week or so ago Mago said, despondently:

“I’m not cute anymore, because I’m not a baby.”

I think this is jealousy of the attentions his new little sister is getting? But he’s how old, and saying this? (Two and a half years). And besides in my fatherly opinion this isn’t true, but besides all that, it doesn’t matter.. I hoped this wouldn’t happen. It’s bolstered by so many people he meets (especially old ladies) so emphatically saying in his company “He’s so cute!” There’s a place for it, I’d just hope not to excess. It can become (quite unintended - nobody wishes for this), the token of affection, status. No, you gotta love any kid just because they’re a kid. I’m pretty confident he’s confident enough of himself that having to be cute (to meet that demand) won’t need to be a focus, but.. how do you counter this? A few times since hearing this I’ve tried to tell him - a two-and-a-half year old! - that cuteness doesn’t matter, all that matters is trying to be good, and you are good (but, even though it doesn’t matter, you are cute to me).. it doesn’t seem to get across. Maybe a matter of time.

The affection of old ladies must be a lot more persuasive.

Tonight I went in to say goodnight to him after Tia put him to bed (and I had been watching Nem-nem), and when I walked in he said in tones speaking of a smile I couldn’t see in the dark:

“I need a hug and a hug.”

Okay. I’ll comply. As I did, he looked up in the very dim light to a picture of Jesus on the wall: (this one - link - incidentally, that one affected me more as a kid than any other painting of Jesus)

Mago: And Jesus loves them, and he’s treating them kindly. And he’s here.. and he’s showing them.. a dinosaur museum.

Me: Yes, that sounds like something Jesus would do, doesn’t it? [reader: please don’t think I don’t mean this. I do. Okay, maybe not necessarily like that link..]

Mago: And.. he’s showing them a museum and it has T-Rexes.

Tia just told me they sang “Jesus said love everyone, treat them kindly too..” for bed time.

I’ve been very taken with a tune I found (and what it necessarily has to do with Christmas re the album I have no idea, and I’ve otherwise been nonplussed with this artist’s work). I’d kept thinking it captures my feelings about Nem-nem’s arrival, and that I’d like to use it in my video here depicting my idea of that. I’d kept meaning to look up the song origin and finally did. I at first mistook it for one of many old Scottish folk tunes but it was apparently written by two Germans in 1982 for a bagpipe festival in Scotland. It’s called Highland Cathedral. Two prominent sets of words (at least) have been written for it; I very much like this set:

There is a land far from this distant shore
Where heather grows and Highland Eagles soar
There is a land that will live ever more
Deep in my heart, my Bonnie Scotland

Though I serve so far away
I still see your streams, cities and dreams
I can’t wait until the day
When I’ll come home once more

So Lord keep me from the harm of war
Through all the dangers and the battles roar
Keep me safe until I’m home once more
Home to my own in Bonnie Scotland

On first reading these lyrics, I was overhwelmed by the coincidence that the tune both expresses my feelings about Nem-nem’s birth and that these lyrics are so similar in several ideas to words I wrote for Mago’s Lullaby:

So together we’ll hie
Through the sky love, and fly
To the sunny bright places we’ll see
With the Irish we’d die
For our mothers would cry
For the days to be sunny and green

Both are songs of a fair distant land of my ancestry, both speak of soaring/flying, both refer to battle (that’s what I mean by “With the Irish we’d die”).

So Highland Cathedral is Nem-nem’s lullaby.

I’ve got Scottish blood, so I suppose it isn’t necessarily fair to give the Irish all the attention (as I do with my children’s nicknames). But I don’t have any children for England, or for Wales (yet), or..

I’m also struck by allegory in the words; Nem-nem arrives from a distant land she left (her place with God) to serve in a battle (the war for souls on this earth) and will long for her eternal home. So I sing it in homage to both God and my ancestors. Further, I hadn’t even realized when I wrote Mago’s lullaby that it maybe could work allegorically in the same way.

Here is the song with this video for Nem-nem; only it isn’t so “lullaby” here, though it can be sung that way and has been child-tested and found to work. It’s versatile. Click the image.

The stills in this are deep space photography which I color-alter, distort, zoom, pan, cross-fade, and change lighting of to give a sense of travel, merging into the opening sequence from CONTACT reversed and sped up. CONTACT had it wrong. In that film, pious scientists/priests repeatedly declare that the remainder of space without any life apart from Earth would be a “waste”. On the contrary I feel it isn’t about how far we can look or travel out there and whether it means anything to anyone else, human or alien, but how amazing, beautiful and meaningful it all makes our existence here. Not that life elsewhere isn’t compelling.

Incidentally, I hope my video, while philosophically in great sympathy with this amusingly distasteful schlock I found at YouTube, may be better. Even a little better would fill me with hope.

These were Tia’s comments on my video: “It’s good”. Later I sought clarification on this:

“So you like it?”

“I don’t like that music with it. This Scottish tune to that.. it doesn’t fit.”

“You’d appreciate it more if you appreciated Star Trek.”

(Derisive sarcasm) “Well, yeah.”

“You don’t remember [Star Trek II Spoiler!] show

“Did I ever see show

“Well, there you go. It’s really good, I recommend it.”