Ussins

In the morning I greet him and he smiles. Later I tell him “Hiii” a few times and again he mirrors it with “Nyaai!”, to my exhuberance. I read to him. He won’t have the reading, he likes the talking, and interrupts me at three intervals with “Nyaaai!”, each time again to my exhuberance. Meanwhile he’s bored with me saying only this back to him, and I have nothing else to say (for which I’m sorry), so I go again to music. Most of the music I try on him causes a blandly bemused expression. As he has just come from a realm of certain objectivity about many matters, I regard this as a sign that most of my music is, objectively, blandly bemusing. ..okay, tastes are subjective. .. sort of. The title screen music from Game Cube’s “Wario Ware” causes curiousity and involvement. The Star Trek Voyager title music causes interest without blandness. He cries when I stop playing Wario Ware, stops crying when I start it again. To the Star Wars title music he tenses up and darts his eyes around.

For a while he’s been more fussy around me (and more fussy in general since his horrific circumcision) - not tolerant of me holding my face to his. I try music again. He likes “Conquest of Paradise (Theme)” and “Summon the Heroes” from the latter’s title album (of themes used in broadcasts of the Olympic Games) and lets me nuzzle him while he listens, the music putting him into a trance. We then listen to “Freedom Theme” from the ending scenes of BRAVEHEART, and I tell him how the music is about a warrior who gave his life for Scotland, and Robert the Bruce who betrayed him and saw what he had lost when William gave everything for the cause. And how Robert then brought the Scots one morning before the great tyrant of England to battle, and how William’s brother caused William’s sword to fly before the battle. And how the hero reminds me of a greater hero who also gave his life so that we can fly.

(Forget whether any of that is fiction. Forget it. If it claims to be history, don’t forget it, but it doesn’t make the claim. The expressed virtues in the story are the important thing.)

Here are some pictures Tia took of him at 4 weeks. One of these is a diaper cake her sister made. I took the ones with Tia. Click the thumbnails for larger pictures.

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Mom takes him into the room, saying that he wants to listen to the nintendo music I’m playing (while I organize a thousand disparate image files from one computer folder to many). She leaves him in the boppy on the floor to go eat. Behind from the floor, he cooes, and I turn around and he’s looking at me. I pick him up and we dance to Ninja Gaiden track 13; the music relating Ryu compelled to battle his father who is possessed by a demon and transformed into a monster. I exlaim to him of the music: “Oh, the pathos! Father, you’re dying!” He wiggles his arms to the music. Typing this now with him in the boppy in my lap, he offers another greeting, exlaiming: “NYAAAI!”

.. superstitious of the effects of nintendo music (people at lease *act* as if it’s somehow vulgar or tasteless..) I play him instead a mass (Messe La Bataille). After a while he starts fussing. I play Beethoven’s overtures to The Creatures of Prometheus, Op. 43 and Coriolan, Op. 62 (I have no idea what these are - these are just the titles). He likes these much better.

Something happened that I forgot. I should never, never, never do this again. Was it a call to me? Who will hear every cry? Who is there when a call finds absence? Yah is merciful.

I say to Baby three times: “Hiii! Hiii! Hiii!” He utters a few fidgeting sounds, draws in, and lets out: “YNNGAAAAAI!”