Open Hatch

Whatever kind of duck you may become this year, be a good one.

My wise, resourceful mother found this a while ago at an eBay store. The original is an image with text that is very hard to read, and I’ve ripped out the text and put it here with effectively the same images.  Here’s the link to the original, and if that goes down my own copy is here.  You know this is good from the combination of that picture of a duck with the first line. 

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All that running and resolve, and Mrs. Pac Man hasn’t lost anything. Doesn’t she get that she’s taking in as many calories as she burns?

She should just face it, her basic shape is round. In older times, this shape was more ideal because it signified farming power and the luxuries of living carnivorously. It’s too bad they stopped making farms to remind us that fat is power. And poor Mrs. Pac Man isn’t adored like the farm girl she should be. She was born in the wrong time.

At least we still have those holdovers of farming and fat power: Thanksgiving, and McDonald’s. Was Mrs. Pac Man ever in a happy meal? With a little straw hat? I bet they didn’t add a straw hat. They should.

No, Mr. and Mrs. Pac Man are silicon children. The best they can hope for is liposuction and plastic and silicone reshaping.

And isn’t it time for Mrs. Pac Man to have some equality? Shouldn’t she resent having Man in her name? Shouldn’t she be Mrs. Pac Myn? And isn’t it unfair that HE is in more games? Why does she keep hanging around that loser?