Open Hatch

This short film from this script I wrote here is now posted at my new internet film blog, here.

I got a clip from HaleStorm entertainment of my scene. Here it is. But first, when I was converting it from .mp4 to .mov format, I got some weird warping effects on me when the process didn’t work because my quicktime pro was outdated. Here they are.

This inspires a character (brief audio clip). “Why don’t you take a look at me? Does it look to you like I don’t know the difference between an ogre and a human?”

Okay so here’s my clip. Do not watch this clip of me in Mobsters and Mormons. Go see the movie. DO NOT WATCH THIS CLIP OF ME IN MOBSTERS AND MORMONS. GO SEE THE MOVIE. DO NOT WATCH THIS CLIP OF ME IN MOBSTERS AND MORMONS!! GO SEE THE MOVIE!! HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU HAVE TO SEE A MORMON FILM TO APPEASE THE FILM GODS?! ALWAYS MORE THAN YOU HAVE, IT’S NEVER ENOUGH ‘TILL IT HURTS!! DON’T LIE TO ME LIKE I’M JUDGE JUDY, YOU KNOW YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT ENOUGH!

My self-review: I think I acted my first and second lines well, and the third maybe a little iffy. But quirky in an interesting way. I know in a marketing sense it’s evil to proclaim any potential flaw in what I do when others are involved. However, this doesn’t trouble me, because I’m evil.

[Update: this has been put together as a short film, detailed in this entry in my film blog, and showing at this link, with the revised script archived here in Adobe Reader format (with this collection of my scripts).]

By Richard Alexander Hall

Concept by Robert Langford Hall

This is the first of four ideas that have been lodged in my head and which I spat out last night. I very much welcome comments and criticisms.

INT. - WHITE SCREEN

The bored head of a MALE PERSON is before us. A hand at his side reaches in and rotates an imaginary nob on his ear; as the hand does so, THE PERSON’S MOUTH ROBOTICALLY OPENS. The NARRATOR announces in his SEMI-BOILED DECLARATIVE SCIENTIFIC TONE:

NARRATOR

Hmm. Turn that dial. Travel back through time.

A SCREEN OF FUZZY GLOWING BLUE LIGHT SHIMMERS IN THE PERSON’S MOUTH for a while, THEN VANISHES. He opens and closes his mouth mechanically and licks his chops. He goes somewhat stale.

NARRATOR

The flavor of dust. It tastes like 1952!

The person rotates the unseen dial on his ear, the shimmering blue mouth light FADES IN AND OUT. He licks his chops still mechanically but a bit more vigorously.

NARRATOR

(happy)

The Nintendo Entertainment System you cleaned with your tounge in 1982. Turn that dial again!

The person again rotates the dial slack-jawed; more shimmering light and it settles. He has a pleasant expression.

NARRATOR

Ahh. Hummus of Ancient Egypt. Circa 2000 BC. Turn the dial again!

The person extracts a tub of hummus from his mouth and licks his chops. Slack-jawed dialing, shimmering, fading. He has a bitter expression.

NARRATOR

Bratwurst at OctoberFest, 1992. Misdial! Dial on!

Slack-jawed dialing, shimmering, fading. The person looks puzzled for a moment, then has a realization, and smiles.

NARRATOR

It tastes like today! Your journey is through!

THE END

Here is a movie (just below, in quicktime format) of me variously reading a difficult line Mark Hammil had at his Star Wars audition. Actor Validation Disclaimer: I’m being a “spaz”; this is not work suited for film. Also, I think my Napolean impression is a bit off.

Fear is their greatest defense. I doubt if the actual security there is much greater than on Aquili or Sullist, and what they do have is most likely directed towards a large scale assault.

Here’s an out-take - quicktime format, click play - description below.

SSSSSSSHHHHHH!

This is composed of outtakes from re-doing a shot for THE END. Yes, the lighting is bad. Also a terracidal maniac isn’t what I had in mind for THE END; this plays off the possibility that the person who knows the world is ending is causing it to end. Really the idea is that he’s had a divine warning about it, but he still comes accross as crazy.

Disclaimers: World Destruction, Burglarizing, and Intimidation of People with this film are forbidden. If You are a movie reviewer, as opposed to a realist, so that You expect comedy to exist without someone being a fool, so that You watch this movie and instead of laughing You mutter such phrases as “What an idiot!” and “What a nerd!”, You must with double vehemence press such points, to deter from the Fact that You have Cut Comedy Out of Your Life.

Actor Validation: I think the first part of My performance is good, but I think that maybe the injected laughter in the later part of it might be a little off.

CREDITS

Everything in and making this film is by me.

Here is a movie my friends made - quicktime format, press the play button.

My friends (two brothers) made this. I’m mildly embarrased by the use of the word “frik.” But to be dispassionate in nuclear holocaust that spontaneously happens in Utah for no reason, what else would you say?

CREDITS

Concept: David Skousen Sr.

Film - David A. and Richard J. Skousen, Richard as Nuclear Holocaust Victim

[Update: this clip has been moved to my new internet film-only blog, here.]

Here is a movie I made with a friend - quicktime format, press the play button.

For discussion with your children: Did the Sinner in this movie cause the end of the world by telling a prophet to “Shut up”? Or was the world doomed to die anyway? Which came first, the chicken or the egg, the sinner or Armageddon? Do you think the world was going to end even though this Sinner said “Shut up”? Was God so upset with too many people saying “Shut up” all the time that He decided to blow up the world? Does God’s promise to Noah not to flood the world mean he is free to blow it up nonetheless? If God were going to blow up the world, do you think prophets would warn us first?

MAYBE SO, BUT WE’VE BEEN WARNED A LOT!! SO THE NEXT TIME A PROPHET RUNS UP TO YOU AND YELLS THE END IS NEAR, YOU’D BETTER BELIEVE THEM!! SHAME ON YOU!! SHAME ON YOU!! ALL SINNERS, SHAME ON YOU!! YOU HAVE 3 SECONDS TO REPENT!!

Someone pointed out that this is the Most Violent Film ever made. Film violence has been rated by the number of deaths in a film. By that standard, Star Wars is the Most Violent Film Ever: while several films have blown up populated planets, Star Wars edges them all out by blowing up Alderran and the Death Star. But if you rate by Violence Density (number of deaths divided by length of film), this is by far the Most Violent Film Ever!

Someone else pointed out that I coincidentally released this on the same day that the FLDS church moved down near Waco Texas for their prophecy of the end, 04-04-05. Um.. how sort of appropriate.

CREDITS

Script and Prophet - Richard Alexander Hall

Directed by Richard Alexander Hall and David A. Skousen.

Photography - David A. Skousen.

Hoodlum - Richard Skousen

Hoodlums - Paul Green, Izak Rock

Earth Image - NASA

Fireball - DetonationFilms.com