[I wrote this and asked many people if I should send it. Their answer was yes, though possibly not to this recipient.]

Dear Senator Hatch,

I’m not really sure if you’re in my district, or whatever, but sometimes I think I like you, so I’m writing you anyway. I might even write you if I don’t like you.

I’ve been thinking about house prices. It’s weighing heavily on my mind. Like so many mortgage payments. And I’m thinking, if I want to move into the Nevilleson’s mansion when they move out, how am I going to secure the right price? I’ve heard there are so many Californians moving into our state, right out of theirs - who said they could come here? They aren’t Pioneer stock! - and gobbling up all the expensive houses by selling their half-million dollar homes in the Bay area and driving out here. Right after they sell! And this drives prices up. I know I’ve heard that Utahns are stingy - I’m proud of it - but doesn’t that strike you as wrong? It feels like an invasion. My daddy worked hard in the soil all his life and his lot is now inherited by someone from L.A. It seems like the wrong kind of Eminent Domain, if you ask me. Where are the border patrols? I’m not sure how they even watch the border. I’m sure it must be a bigger problem than Mexico, with a flood of Californians like this! But then I got thinking about why they are buying those homes for such high prices, anyway. And I realized: it’s because the credit bureaus all report their revolving debt, right there on the credit report, which anyone can look at for even the most marginal reason, such as wanting to haggle me with mail solicitations by chopping up more of the trees in Panguitch! And Panguitch is my middle name, so I doubly resent that! And when they look at that credit report, with the revolving debt, they know just exactly how much they can extort from their buyer, no guesswork at all, no fudging and lowering of the price just in case they can’t pay that much - I mean, Supply and Demand never had less guesswork in the Red Scare! Talk about another invasion! Keep their eyes off how much I’m making! That’s private! Can you do anything about that? You’re a Senator, after all. This also got me thinking about taxes. It seems like a lot of people pay high taxes on homes and then businesses find ways out of paying more taxes. In fact it seems almost conspiring how much businesses get away with loops and multiple special exceptions in the tax system over consumers and general lay domestics. It’s as if they get to make more money just because they are smarter. What is right about that? Should someone get less tax just for buying a hummer? Or structuring their company one way vs. another? They seem like arbitrary concessions devised solely from politicians buckling to too much pressure from too many lobbyists who somehow have themselves convinced that they must be worthy of less taxation just because they are more special for doing something some way or owning some thing. Or some people. Like we thought blacks were a worthy tax exemption for a while. Like Communists owning peasants. But I think the tax should be completely flat, everywhere. Like Kansas. Then we would all lay up in store treasures as if from heaven, and the Mormons could stop being so frugal. Or stingy, I guess. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Someday, Senator, someday.

Floese Panguitch Louisa, Jr.