If like me you didn’t watch the Oscars, this will be news. But first some questions - if Actresses are now called Actors, why aren’t both nominee categories called Best Actor? In fact, why do they give two awards? Sexist pigs. The future of progress is about unisex awards, and there should be one and only one award. You can wait till they make it to the stage to figure out whether they are a Man or Womyn. If in the near future this matter is still visually distinguishable.

And all the overinflated acceptance speeches.. who can bear that anymore? And who of the American public watched the short films in all the major American venues they aren’t showing them in to know anything about the nominees? Six Shooter won for short film. Alrightie. Guns are important.

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN didn’t win Best Film. Now that blogger who predicted Best Film for it isn’t justified in being oh so cynical of Hollywood. Well.. maybe a bit more. It won Best Director and Best Adapted Screenplay. If these facts are conclusive proof of EVIL.

CRASH won Best Film and Original Screenplay. Philip Seymour Hoffman (CAPOTE) won Best Actor, and Rachel Weisz (THE CONSTANT GARDENER) won Best Actress.

Here is someoene else’s amusing understatements about the awards and a film major’s excuses* for not watching the awards (the latter page linked to the former).

Just admit it, people. You’ve become too ashamed of Hollywood to care anymore.

*Just kidding! Disneyland with your kids is like way cooler than the Oscars!