I was considering pitching these anti-drug abuse Public Service Announcement concepts for broadcast. I’m wondering how they’ll go over.

1. A celebrity who says “Satan loves drugs. Do you worship Satan?” Cut to title: THE MORE YOU KNOW..

2. A guy boiling an egg who says “This is your brain. But what do you care about your brain, you underdeveloped, uneducated thin-skulled pedigree inebriate? When was the last time you read a book? Have you ever read something you weren’t told to? That fantasy/sci-fi crap-twaddle doesn’t count. Now you’re giving me that ‘I-don’t-comprehend-you-and-I’d-rather-be-sniffing’ look. So go ahead, get jacked up on that garbage and ease our population stresses. Someone else will take over your telephone work.” - pours oil on the burner and the room goes up in flames. Cut to title: THE MORE YOU KNOW..

3. A hippie who says “Some drugs take you into a psychadelic fantasy zone where the colors and the walls love you and the laws of nature don’t seem to apply. HOW DOES THAT SOUND TO YOU?!” Cut to title: THE MORE YOU KNOW..

4. A sports celebrity who says “A lot of athletes make a lot of money using drugs and don’t get caught for years, or maybe never at all. IS IT WORTH IT? You make the call.” Cut to title: THE MORE YOU KNOW..