When you buy BYU football season tickets, you have to fill out the following questionnaire. Really.

Please answer all questions honestly and to your best knowledge. Falsification will disqualify you for season ticket purchase.

1. Are you, or have you ever been, or are you affiliated with, any Jaded Cynical Pessimist Fair Weather Fans? Y/N
2. Do you know the rules of football? For example, will you cheer when the opponent scores a touchdown, should this ever occur? Y/N
3. Do you know what a touchdown is? Explain. _____________________________________________________
4. Does God answer prayers for BYU to win? Y/N
5. Have you been praying regularly for BYU to win? Y/N

..But not really.