Open Hatch

This morning I’m thinking again about my want to create an ambitious internet application where people can post their art, and art in development, and have peers give feedback. I may also want it to be a repository of people’s reviews and information about media (much like the web site IMDB) for reference and inspiration. I think this would be a very long-term/far-off project because I’ve decided to pursue acting and video game art instead of programming.
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by RAH concept by RAH and RLH

This may best be expressed as an animation. Plus that way there’s no harm/aggravation to animals.

EXT. - MIDDLE-CLASS NEIGHBORHOOD - FRONT OF A HOUSE

There is some AWESOMELY HYPNOTIC BLAND INDUSTRIAL/TECHNO MUSIC playing in this AWESOME VIDEO. THE MUSIC INCLUDES ROBOTIC CAT MEOWS. A MALE PERSON picks up his MALE CAT ON A LEASH and attempts to put the cat in A SMALL BOX. THE NARRATOR is AN ENTHUSIASTIC YUPPIE SURFER WHO MANAGES OFFICIOUSNESS:

NARRATOR

Put that cat in a box!

The cat is disgruntled and runs: the leash stops him.

NARRATOR

Pull that leash now!

The person manages to get the cat back in his arms without it scratching him (which it attempts to).

NARRATOR

(sympathetic)

Aww, Pinky’s upset. That’s good!

The person puts the cat in the box and suffers a few scratches on the way, yelping in pain. He seals the box, walks to the curb, and dumps it in the garbage can.

NARRATOR

Don’t tell the garbage man!

DISCLAIMER TITLE:
DON’T DO THIS.

Warning: clue/spoiler to STAR WARS Episode III REVENGE OF THE SITH

INT. - CORUSCANT UNDERWORLD - SITH LORD’S CHAMBER

DARTH PLAGUEIS STANDS ALONE, ROBED AND HOODED IN BLACK. He is in a deep trance. Before him is A MAN-SIZED POOL OF MUD. He raises his arms. The mud bubbles, rises, glows in eeire off-colors, and forms into A RABBIT.

Darth Plagueis

(happy laughter, then maniacal, then hysterical)

WE WILL HAVE REVENGE!

This film likely best accomplished by disassembling the video game into sprites to mix live-action with animation.

INT. - A HOUSE - A ROOM

A YOUNG MAN PLAYS NINTENDO. He has won and is watching the end sequence to NINJA GAIDEN. In the game, RYU’S FATHER DIES. RYU KISSES HIS GIRLFRIEND. THE YOUNG MAN is overcome with the mixture of pity, grief, and love.

YOUNG MAN

(imploring)

Ninja!

(beat, sobs)

GAIDEN!

RYU AND GIRLFRIEND STAND ATOP A CLIFF AS THE TOWER OF THE VILLAIN’S LAIR COLLAPSES. The young man is overcome with the necessity of revenge.

YOUNG MAN

(imploring)

Ninja!

(beat, heaving sobs, anger)

REVENGE!

The young man seizes his SAMURAI SWORD and dashes out of his house, RUSHING THROUGH ALL OF THE LEVELS AND BOSSES OF NINJA GAIDEN, ACROBATICS AND FOE-SLAUGHTERING JUST SO, TO ARRIVE AT THE END OF THE GAME. He stands atop the cliff watching the tower collapse as he himself DETERIORATES INTO A NERVOUS WRECK ALTERNATING IN GLORY/GRIEF/ANGER, REPEATING HIS SAME WORDS AS BEFORE.

[Update: this has been put together as a short film, detailed in this entry in my film blog, and showing at this link, with the revised script archived here in Adobe Reader format (with this collection of my scripts).]

By Richard Alexander Hall

Concept by Robert Langford Hall

This is the first of four ideas that have been lodged in my head and which I spat out last night. I very much welcome comments and criticisms.

INT. - WHITE SCREEN

The bored head of a MALE PERSON is before us. A hand at his side reaches in and rotates an imaginary nob on his ear; as the hand does so, THE PERSON’S MOUTH ROBOTICALLY OPENS. The NARRATOR announces in his SEMI-BOILED DECLARATIVE SCIENTIFIC TONE:

NARRATOR

Hmm. Turn that dial. Travel back through time.

A SCREEN OF FUZZY GLOWING BLUE LIGHT SHIMMERS IN THE PERSON’S MOUTH for a while, THEN VANISHES. He opens and closes his mouth mechanically and licks his chops. He goes somewhat stale.

NARRATOR

The flavor of dust. It tastes like 1952!

The person rotates the unseen dial on his ear, the shimmering blue mouth light FADES IN AND OUT. He licks his chops still mechanically but a bit more vigorously.

NARRATOR

(happy)

The Nintendo Entertainment System you cleaned with your tounge in 1982. Turn that dial again!

The person again rotates the dial slack-jawed; more shimmering light and it settles. He has a pleasant expression.

NARRATOR

Ahh. Hummus of Ancient Egypt. Circa 2000 BC. Turn the dial again!

The person extracts a tub of hummus from his mouth and licks his chops. Slack-jawed dialing, shimmering, fading. He has a bitter expression.

NARRATOR

Bratwurst at OctoberFest, 1992. Misdial! Dial on!

Slack-jawed dialing, shimmering, fading. The person looks puzzled for a moment, then has a realization, and smiles.

NARRATOR

It tastes like today! Your journey is through!

THE END

Episode III spoilers!

Fabian at dailynugget draws the same conclusion I did, that Darth Sidious’ master was Darth Plagueis and that Plagueis created Anakin. Someone else I know volunteered this idea. I had thought the same on the Sidious/Plagueis relationship except that I thought Sidious created Anakin. The reason I think this (as noted in an email copied in a previous post), is that in the film and trailer Sidious addresses Anakin at one point as “son.”

I agree with almost everything in Fabian’s review. I.. don’t like the swearing though
My disagreement is that anyone attempted to derail Natalie Portman’s performance - I think it’s just clunky dialogie.

I had also thought yesterday that maybe a tear or two would be due from Obi-Win in his lines right after “YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!”

Additionally yesterday I was haunted by Obi-Wan’s line: “I have failied you anakin.” How rending.

alankistler at MonitorDuty intreviews Darth Vader about inconsistencies that ROTS makes for ROTJ. He brings out a question I’ve asked: is Anakin the Chosen one or is Luke?

In ROTS the interpretation of the “balance” prophecy given by the Jedi is that balance means destroying the sith. I’m not totally following alankistler’s argument (who are you saying is the Chosen one or what is your interpretation of balance?), but he seems to be saying that balance means good and evil coexisting, whearas if the Sith are destroyed only the Jedi rule, which apparently isn’t balanced. He also seems to say that Vader killing his master is a feeble and way overdue act (more on this in a bit) that isn’t very “chosen”, so that Vader isn’t the chosen one.

I add: If being chosen means destroying the Sith, Luke isn’t chosen because Vader destroyed the last sith, not Luke.

Here is my argument. At the end of ROTS, Yoda speculates that the Jedi Order’s interpretation of balance to mean the destruction of the Sith could be incorrect. I don’t think Lucas would put that in the script unless the speculation had a lot of weight i.e. we are supposed to conclude that Yoda is correct. This is the only thing that Yoda has ever admitted being possibly wrong about. He bowed to Obi-Wan’s wish to train Luke only as a martyr, unwilling, conlusive of Luke’s unfitness for the task.

Also, if alankistler’s version of balance means evil and good force-wielders coexisting, Vader and/or Luke throw the Force out of balance by eliminating evil force-wielders. I think this reinforces that Yoda’s speculation is right: balance means something else.

Which leaves me to return to my previous speculation on what balance means.

This rebuttal to Vader is hilarious:

I think what you’re telling me is that if the Red Skull killed Hitler when the Russians were crushing down on Berlin, the Skull should’ve been considered a good guy in the end.

The insolvability of Vader’s mass murders is a problem I’ve also thought on, and I explore a possible solution in that same writing that explores the interpretation of balance.

alankistler also goes into Leia’s memory of her mother as not really possible. I’d thought on this. I don’t know, I’ve thought maybe Leia has some Force abilities and is really only seeing a vision of the past through the Force. That’s problematic though and I’d like my rewrite to explain it.

Lastly - alankistler seems to identify Yoda’s description of Qui-Gonn’s “path to immortality” as meaning to know how to be a ghost. I hadn’t thought of that. I was picturing an actual, corporeal Qui-Gonn. We may not know unless Lucas continues to not leave his films alone and inserts scenes with Qui-Gonn into Ep. IV. alankistler says Vader couldn’t be a ghost without contacting Qui-Gonn - I think that Qui-Gonn would have waited to intercept Vader’s soul right at his death, and train him.

I find the concept of having to train to be a ghost troubling - my belief is that everyone is right at death.

When I went to see REVENGE OF THE SITH, there was a trailer before it that made me repeatedly gasp, tremble, and say “Oh MAN! oh MAN!” A person next to me kept turning and looking at me like I’m from another world. Well.. I spent some time in my youth in this world. Going back to it is very, very exciting, and it looks like they are actually doing a job worthy of the material.

I am SO excited about this.

This behind-the-scenes bit is also very interesting.

Also.. I prefer to expect every film to be awesome, because when I find a film that is awesome and I was expecting it to be, it’s ten times more awesome. For the rest of them, meanwhile, I’m more conscious of what dissapointed me, since I allowed my hopes to exist prior to dissapointment.

One PunditGuy concludes from Episode III that preisthood celibacy should be reinforced. This person also draws an analogy between Anakin’s concealment and homosexuality. That is.. extremely illogical. The only similarity is concealment. The virtue or vice of the matters being concealed is totally different. I don’t draw the conclusion that Anakin should abolish what he has to conceal, but that the pressure on him to conceal and dissociate.. that pressure is what should be abolished. This previous post of mine gives more towards that view.

I’m glad this other reviewer likes the film. At the same time I have major gripes with her review: she complains that Padme was marginalized and is no longer a “strong fighter”. Does this reviewer really expect that a pregnant woman would be out doing kung-fu and blasting baddies? A pregnant woman doesn’t make these apparenty important battles - most of them are stuck on their butt trying not to throw up every day for at least the first trimester, struggling to be anything other than immobile most of the time. This reviewer trivializes the task and value of childbirth: “..nothing to do really.. but pop out the twins”. Is that a small thing? But continuing the race is the greatest of things: without it, all plans are foiled. All plans should surround this. Two posts ago I speculate that attaching to those around you (Anakin’s marriage) is in fact what balances the force: the Jedi Order’s dissociation led to Anakin’s fall.

I will here point out that both of these reviewers apparently subscribe to values that in my opinion devalue the family. I object.

Warning - EPISODE III spoilers

In my last entry I said I was wrong in my old prediction that Palpatine is Anakin’s father (originally I said that either Palpatine or Darth Maul is in some way). Hours after posting it, I realized: I think I was right! Here’s how; let’s return to the strong clue that Darth Sidious is Darth Plageus’ apprentice: wherein he offers Anakin the knowledge of how to prevent death. From the Darth Plageuis story we know that right along with the power of preventing death comes creating life.

I think Darth Sidious created Anakin!
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Warning - Episode III spoilers

I just saw this movie. I thought it was great. All of the leads amazed me. I cried. At first thinking this through, I think this movie not only surpasses EPISODES I-II but nearly justifies EPISODE VI (Return of the Jedi).

Why? It seems to solve the major problem of Anakin murdering thousands (and later assisting in the murder of millions) of people while apparently comprehending the wrong of it. Episode III makes a strong case that he doesn’t comprehend the wrong of it. It shows Palpatine pressing upon a vulnerable Anakin an equation of Padme’s inevitable death as precipitated by the Jedi witholding knowledge from him - offering that a power of the Dark side could stop it. This with the pressure of the Jedi order placed on Anakin against Darth Sidious - who is the only one offering what seems a real solution to him for that problem - convincingly justifies in Anakin’s mind his betrayal of the Jedi Order.
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[Update: this script has been written and archived here in Adobe Reader format (with this collection of my scripts).]

This is a sequel to TACO that reverses the situation in that film, with the German singing fellow arriving confused at a taco joint and singing to request a taco. Together with TACO and an as yet unwritten third, they will form THE FOOD TRILOGY.

I watch all these silly TV shows with magicians in them (okay.. I love the shows) - wizards, witches, whatever - and they use these spells all the time. Well, who wrote the spells? Someone wrote them. For that matter, what power exactly is invoked in creating a spell and what are the rules for writing them? I kind of like the idea of sorcerers who have more raw power than wizards or witches, who for whatever reason can create spells and I suppose delegate the power of those spells or crystallize .. ugh what a new age word to use! .. but anyway the sorcerers crystalize some primeaval power that they have a more raw access to, they put it into the spell and then it only has to be invoked by folks with lesser powers. I really think it would take way more power to come up with a spell and make sure it works than it would to just use one. For that matter there should probably be histories behind spells of taking things in the wrong direction and blowing stuff up or people dying or whatever.

The idea of sorcerers is so arrogant. That anyone could even concieve of invoking any powers of heaven or hell for any reason just because they want to? What if it’s not God’s will that the person for whom a healing spell is cast be healed? What if God wills it that they die? What if the spells only work if it’s the will of the Force or whatever we might call the mystical energy that powers all life, if we are going to beat around the bush and say that energies are anything other than from God?

Which is another point I’d like to rant on. In Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the spinoff Angel, they make no outright declarations of there being any God or Utlimate Good Authority, but they will briskly and easily make references to “The First Evil”, usually just as “The First”, who is incorporeal.
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[Update: this script has been revised and archived here in Adobe Reader format (with this collection of my scripts).]

Just moving this script from somewhere else - not certain exactly when I wrote it..

EXT. - A FAST FOOD RESTARAUNT

The sign of the restaraunt identifies it as HAMBURGERS. A MEXICAN pulls up to the drive through. The drive through worker addresses him through the speaker.

FAST FOOD WORKER

Hi welcome to hamburger what can I get you?

The Mexican regards the signs. He is puzzled.

MEXICAN

Hey muchachos, where are your tacos?

The fast food worker puzzles over the patron’s request and lack of knowledge. The patron believes he can get what he wants with song.

MEXICAN

(sings)

Hey muchachos, Donde esta sus tacos, hey muchachos?

The fast food worker is taken further aback, and decides to try his own at the foreign:

FAST FOOD WORKER

(sings, ending in dissonance)

Wir bin ein Hamburger und we no have ze tacos, no no, ja?

The Mexican worker betrays his queit dissapointment to the camera.

CUT TO:

TITLE AND VO

Taco.

[I keep getting nasty trackback links posted to my entires that relate most closely to my creative ambitions. Someone out there wants to pollute that. No more luck for them. TRACKBACKS OFF.]

In recent years, various situations have impelled me to seriously reconsider a previously buried dream of being an actor, then revive and pursue it. I wrote scraps here and there about these experiences and owe it to myself (and probably the curiosity of others) to gather them into one. I’ll do that, revising this entry from time to time.

Meanwhile, I’ll recall one of the prompts: a sentence in a new-agy titled book:

“Make no decisions based on security. There is none.”

Strictly, I disagree with this sentence. I believe there are things about which we can be absolutely certain. The context in which this sentence was given may admit that (I don’t recall). But the point is that there is risk of failure and insecurity in everything. If we run risks everyday in a pursuit or occupation we don’t like, why not take (carefully planned) risks for an occupation we really want, instead?

A counter-argument is that risk is greater for artists. Barring situations with factors that truly cut off success for artists, I say that this is not so: only for failures on the part of the artist in self-marketing, self-development, business savvy, etc. Pointing back to the everything is a risk argument, these skills are necessary to every professional pursuit.

This philosophy is dangerous to folks of black-and-white, all-or-nothing thinking (yours truly). No one should burn their life to the ground and hope that all their buried dreams will resurface in a new life instantly reborn. More on this later.